Terrible news, kids: cute Digby Ioane has a fractured thumb from the Australia v Italy game last weekend, which means that he’s out of the Rugby World Cup until the quarter-finals, at the earliest.

This means that we need to sub a replacement Australian winger into the Handsome XV, so it is with a heavy heart that I reveal the newest member of the team:

It’s James O’Connor and – let’s be honest – he looks like Justin Bieber. It’s very disappointing to have to have somebody like this in the team, but I’m trying to look on the bright side: he might score a few tries and help the Handsome XV with its cumulative score.

For God’s sake, look at his hair. It’s disgraceful.

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