And now people are into green tea, chamomile, chai, white tea, red tea, jasmine tea, oolong tea, black tea, orange pekoe, and other speciality varieties. They are even opening stores and websites devoted to sending white people all sorts of tea.
If you find yourself in a situation with a white person, acceptable things to say include “I’m reallly into tea right now” or “My favourite thing is to get a nice cup of tea and curl up in a chair with a good book.” But do not remind them about the role of colonialism in tea, it will make them feel sad.
— Stuff White People Like
I do agree that liking complicated types of tea is a strong white person trait, but here’s the thing with me and fancy teas: I love the scent of them, but almost always find myself disappointed by the flavour. How can something smell so fruity and delicious, and then taste of absolutely nothing?
Aside from when I’m living it up at a nice afternoon tea (to celebrate my birthday, for example) and feel compelled to order something fancy, there’s only one tea for me:
Mine’s made quite weak, with milk and one sugar, and I prefer it in a pretty Cath Kidston mug.
You will find two other tea varieties in our pantry: rooibos (I hate the stuff, but Tristan, his mother and my mother all drink it), and Healtheries Tamarillo and Kamahi Honey tea (quite nice, as far as fruit teas go). So don’t worry if you come to visit and you’re not a PG Tips fan. You’re covered.
Anyway, my total lack of interest in the intricacies of tea selection make me a poor sort of white person, so I’m giving myself a ranking of ‘House White’.