It was mid-morning and I was working peacefully in my study when Tui thundered down the hall, towards the living room. I thought nothing of it, assuming that she’s spotted the neighbours’ dastardly cats through a window and wanted to give them the hairy eyeball.

But I should have known better – I should have recognised that, unlike most dogs (who hide away when they want to do something naughty), when Tui is up to mischief she makes a concerted effort to be caught. She’s the textbook example of a dog doing something solely for attention; the 45 minute beach walk earlier today was obviously insufficient proof of my love and devotion, easily negated by my bare-faced cheek at choosing to sit at my desk and not lie on the sofa, cuddling her.

Anyway, I went into the living room later and this is what I found:

She’d got hold of a roll of loo paper and shredded it. And as you can see from her expression, she remained defiant. If she does this again I may threaten to send her away to a school for wayward labradingers.

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